bailey <3

an oldy over here

17.2 hh
dark bay
four white socks
star & snip
medium length black mane & tail
brown optics
no defects

found to be a little nervous around others
sweetheart
always willing to help
extremely caring
sensitive
a little naive

Night and day. Day and night. None of it really matters. It's all still the same no matter how you think of it. The sun only shines in the day, the stars in the night. There are no ways of turning back time. You make those mistakes and regret them for the rest of your life. At least that was what I did everyday. I regretted hurting Java. I regret hurting her and hurting myself in the process. I was ashamed that she still liked me. She should have left when she had the chance. Maybe I should have just left when I had the chance. I was chained to her now. Well not actually chained, but I owed her big and I couldn't repay her when we were apart. I gave her what she wanted and she allowed me to. Club was alive and well and so was cloverleaf. She had went behind my back for her other foal, which I tried not to show how much I actually cared. Llaxo was just looking out for her. He looked out just a little too much though. I was capable of keeping myself under control, though there were times when I truly did need him there to control me, but that should have been after the first time we had met. I hurt her. I blinded her and I made her hate me for it. It was something that couldn't be undone.

The freelands were quiet. I knew this was going to be a good place to speak with Java about certain things. I didn't know how our relationship was after the newest foal, but I was hoping she still trusted me as much as she could. I was gentle while I bred her. I made sure she was ready, and I made sure that was what she wanted. It seemed to be that way. I was glad that she was happy and if it was the foals she wanted to stay with me, I would give her that. I loved her and I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life.

I made my way deeper into the freelands. The trees being pulled by the breeze. The grass dancing along with the flowers. A pink rabbit hopped in my path. I thought I might be crazy. It hopped away into the near bushes. I shook the thoughts from my mind. That was just a little weird. The clouds rolled across the open sky. I moved farther towards the stream. I had been here plenty of times before. I had choose not to reside within any herd. It felt right to be a loner in that sense. I wasn't sure about Java though. I only see her off and on, so I wasn't sure if she was staying with Llaxo when I was away in my own world. My world consisted of only myself. I felt like I needed that time away to keep myself in check. It seemed to keep me sane most of the time. When I first met Java there was little between us. My dark side took over and I had no control over myself. I hated having no control over myself, my words or my feelings. I felt so isolated to do the things I knew deep down that I should never do. It was a problem with Java. She wanted things that I wasn't sure I was going to be able to control myself long enough to give them to her. I hated it and when it hurt her, she did too.

I made it to the stream. It ran slow. I took a few steps into the water and lowered my dial to take a long drink. The water trickled down my dry throat. It felt good. I stopped and walked to the shade of a near tree. I stood for a while, thinking about nothing particular. I was suppose to meet Java here. She would take her time getting here. There was no hurry, I would wait for her. I didn't know if she was going to bring any of the kids. She might bring Llaxo for all I knew. Not that I cared. Llaxo was just another stag that Java thought she loved. But deep down inside I did like him. I liked him for protecting her when I was gone. I thanked him for that, though he never seemed to like me back at all. I dropped the thoughts and waited.